In the event of a death in the family or even the disappearance of a parent in a child's daily life, in divorce, grief begins to set in. Other events that can trigger the highly personalized process (just to name a few) include the loss of a job, beloved pet, lifelong dream, the end of a relationship, and onset of a major illness in a loved one. It is vital not to fight the process, but to allow it to run its course and unfold in its own time.
You may recognize the "Stages of Grief" model from psychology class. The stages occur in no specific order, varying with each unique individual.
1. Denial
You struggle to believe what has just happened, and it doesn't yet seem real. If someone you love has died, you may expect them to walk through the door as though nothing has changed, even though you know they cannot.
2. Bargaining or Guilt
"If only I had..." "I wish I told them..." Common statements expressing regret about things left unsaid, undone, or that could have been done differently arise at this stage in the process, even if nothing could have been helped. You may feel guilty about feelings of relief after a long and difficult illness.
3. Acceptance & Sadness
Often the longest stage in the grief process, deep sadness is also the most universally experienced symptom of grief. During this time you may experience crying and emotional instability.
4. Anger
The loss doesn't seem fair, and someone has to be blamed for it. You may be angry with yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for leaving you. Blaming someone or something for a heavy loss is the redirection sadness into anger.
5. Fear
Losing a loved one can incite a host of fears concerning your own mortality, facing life without that person, or new responsibilities you now face alone.
The most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of others. If your level of grief is more than your support system can assist with, get in touch with us to speak with one of our therapists.
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