Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Social anxiety disorder is the most common phobia you've never heard of

This is the time of year for parties, which means crowds of people to socialize with. For some, this can create a crippling anxiety that they have no idea how to control because it isn't a very well-known disorder. Having a therapist to speak with helps you get through these difficult times, and articles like these help acknowledge such disorders and makes them public so that you don't feel alone. 



Social anxiety disorder may be the most common phobia you've never heard of.
Franklin Schneier, a Columbia University psychiatrist who specializes in research on social anxiety, said it represents the extreme end of shyness, and is so debilitating that people who suffer from it often can't stay in school, hold down a job or form a meaningful relationship.
Social anxiety disorder affects about 6 percent of the U.S. population at some point in their lives, he said, or more than 17 million people, and because its main feature is severe worry over dealing with other people, that in itself can make it hard for sufferers to seek help.
But there is help available, he said, particularly in the form of cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, which can help people change their negative thoughts about themselves and what will happen to them in social situations.
In the case of social anxiety, the "B" in CBT is crucial -- reshaping people's behavior by getting them to undertake social homework assignments, whether it's attending a party or giving a public speech.
"People have got to put themselves in these situations," Dr. Schneier said. "Otherwise, you see people who have been in talk therapy for years and they haven't made any progress."
As with other phobias, the optimal therapy is "exposure" -- gradually putting yourself in the very situations that make you anxious. But for social anxiety, the challenge is greater than for many other simpler phobias.
"There is a more cognitive part of [the therapy] than say, treating a fear of dogs, where simply exposing yourself to dogs and realizing they won't bite you can help. In a social situation, you need to understand how your thinking feeds into your fears. Otherwise, you can walk away from it thinking 'What an idiot I was!' or 'That person hated me.' "
If a person is deathly afraid of public speaking, for instance, "he'll think 'I'll make a fool of myself and people will think I'm stupid and my voice will tremble.' "

Friday, December 27, 2013

The Most Popular Kinds Of Psychotherapy -- And Why You Should Try One

Without good mental health, we are no good to the ones around us. Good mental health is just as important as good physical health and one way to obtain that is through therapy. There are many different types of therapy, and this article highlights a few types and whether or not you should be utilizing them....


Therapy: Many of us have an image of it our minds -- whether it's Robin Williams tending to a wounded Matt DamonBetty Draper lying on a couch or one of a great many New Yorker cartoons. But these popular depictions of therapy don't tell us what a session is like or whether psychotherapy is effective (though studies have found that it is effective and that the benefits it brings are real and lasting). And although the numbers tell us that psychotherapy has become a common feature of many people's everyday lives -- in 2008, 40 million adults in the U.S. received mental health treatment -- if you've never been, the actual experience of being in therapy can be somewhat mysterious, if not intimidating and downright off-putting.
For anyone who's considered therapy but didn't know where to start, or simply wants to understand what it's like once you're in the room, check out the guide below, which provides the need-to-know information for the most common kinds of psychotherapy.
What's Up, Doc? Mental Therapies And Their Uses
Psychodynamic Therapy
If you're picturing Tony Soprano opening up to Dr. Melfi, you're onto something.Psychodynamic therapy is all about talking. More specifically, the patient is guided to talk about his or her thoughts and feelings and free associate (i.e. talk uninterrupted about whatever comes to mind), with the goal of bringing unconscious patterns of behavior to the fore so they can more easily be addressed and (if it would be beneficial to the patient's health) changed.
Useful For: Depression, anxiety, anything panic-related, anyone curious about/interested in exploring his or her own mind
Term Of Treatment: Can be a fixed term or open-ended; often lasts up to two years
What to Expect: Sessions take place once or twice per week and are unstructured. The patient is encouraged to guide the session by talking freely about whatever is on his or her mind.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Based on the idea that we can make permanent changes in the way we behave by shifting our negative patterns of thinking, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT for short) is short-term and goal-oriented. The therapist and patient work together to identify the behaviors the patient wants to change and then come up with an action plan to do so.
Term Of Treatment Four to seven months, with meetings every one to three weeks
What To Expect: Sessions are structured and the relationship with the therapist can be more “business-like” than in other kinds of therapy. In other words, the patient and therapist will work together to identify and change problematic patterns of thinking and behaving. The patient is given "homework," which consists of keeping a record of his or her thoughts, feelings and behaviors between sessions.

Family Therapy
Families are so much more than the sum of their parts, and can experience struggle and conflict singular enough to warrant a pop culture genre. Luckily, family therapyconsiders the family unit to be a system with its own unique dynamics (rather than just a collection of individuals who happen to be related). It may address specific problems like an addiction in the family or focus more generally on communication and members' relationships with each other.
Useful For: Families dealing with substance abuse, mental illness, eating disorders, abuse, financial worries and other problems
Term Of Treatment: Short term, but duration depends on the severity of the problems and how long it takes to resolve them. Most cases are completed within 20 sessions.
What To Expect: Typically the family is treated together, but members may also see the therapist (or a different one) on their own.

Group Therapy
The more the merrier, right? Group therapy is useful for anyone who wants to explore the challenges and conflicts he or she is experiencing in relationships, work, life, etc., and do so in a supportive group setting with other people who are struggling with the same or similar things.
Useful For: People who are struggling with anything from depression and anxiety to loss or trauma and want to work through these issues in the company of others. The group setting offers unique opportunities to learn from others and get lots of feedback, and it tends to be cheaper than seeing a therapist one-on-one (making it a good option for those on a budget).
Term Of Treatment: Six to 20 weeks
What To Expect: The therapist will put together a group of five to 10 people who share the same problem or conflict. The group meets for 75 to 90 minutes for a conversation guided by the therapist.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Originally developed to treat individuals with suicidal thoughtsDBT has since been found to be an effective treatment for people with Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD) and BPD-like symptoms (which include unstable moods, extreme reactionslike panic, depression, suicidal thoughts and fear of abandonment). DBT was designed to help these individuals understand their thoughts and behaviors as out-of-the-ordinary and extreme, and then learn coping and interpersonal skills that allow them to find more measured, moderate ways of acting and reacting.
Useful For: Anyone who experiences the kinds of feelings associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (even if they aren't diagnosed as such), including high emotional reactivity, rapid mood changes, and ongoing feelings of emptiness, especially as the result of trauma or abuseeating disorders, substance abuse, or obsessive-compulsive disorder
Term Of Treatment: Although DBT typically lasts less than one year, the duration of treatment depends on how long it takes for the patient to experience improvement.
What To Expect: Weekly therapy sessions are focused around problem-solving and learning or improving interpersonal skills. Patients will also attend weekly group therapy sessions in order to learn additional skills, and will be given "homework" so they can monitor and evaluate their behavior over time.

To read more:

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Journey to Well-Being: New Light on Yoga for Depression and Anxiety


Interesting article on how yoga can help with your mental health...

"Maintaining order rather than correcting disorder is the ultimate principle of wisdom." -- Nei Jing, 2nd Cent. B.C.
Do human beings have the capacity to cultivate happiness and emotional equilibrium by learning to fine tune mind and body, much as we can learn to fine tune a rare and refined musical instrument?
The ancient yogis believed so. They believed that the pathway to peace, in part, goes through not just our mind, but our physical body as well. If we know how, the body can be an important gateway for balancing everyday moods, establishing greater emotional resiliency, and for relieving anxiety and depression. Indeed, it is central to any system of natural health, such as Ayurveda and Chinese Medicine, that restoring balance to the body through simple lifestyle changes offers a remarkably powerful approach to healing.
Amy Weintraub, founder of LifeForce Yoga and author of Yoga for Depression, has long been a leading advocate for the use of yoga to restore balance to mind and body and relieve depression. In her newly-released book, Yoga Skills for Therapists: Effective Practices for Mood Management, Weintraub offers up a series of simple mind-body practices targeting therapists working with clients in a psychotherapy setting. Essentially, however, the book is useful for anyone wishing to empower him or herself with tools to establish greater emotional resilience and/or relieve anxiety and depression.
Weintraub's book comes at a time when an increasing number of Americans are seeking alternative treatments to antidepressant medications with limited effectiveness and disturbing side effects. Indeed, a growing number of studies question the usefulness of the traditional antidepressant medications for treating mild and moderate forms of depression. According to a recent meta-analysis published in JAMA, the benefit of antidepressant drugs may be minimal in patients with mild or moderate depression; in the study, only in the case of severe depression did medications have substantial effects over a simple placebo pill.
In this interview, Weintraub discusses her new book, as well as some of the yoga techniques she has found to be particularly helpful when using yoga to relieve depression and anxiety.
ENS: You have taught your LifeForce Yoga for Depression for more than 10 years now and have trained hundreds of yoga teachers and therapists. What was the main message you wanted to convey in your new book?
AW: Many people shy away from yoga because they think it involves challenging physical postures, which they won't be able to perform. However, there are many, many yoga techniques that don't require the ability to get yourself into challenging yoga postures, and which, in fact, don't even require a yoga mat.
ENS: Many reviewers point out that even though the book targets therapists, it contains a wonderful compilation of simple mind-body practices that really everyone can benefit from. Was that your intention?
AW: Yes, the book really is for anyone wishing to empower themselves with more tools to deal with life's ups and downs. If you practice yoga, you may already have become aware of the shift in mood that yoga engenders. Yoga helps empower us to be able to manage our own mood in so many ways. For someone who suffers from anxiety, depression or who has a history of trauma, this is crucial. It means they have more control in their lives, which research has shown is a key element in feeling better.
So in the book, I wanted to offer some simple somatic tools gleaned from the timeless teachings of yoga. In Western terms, you could describe them as emotional and biochemical self-regulating strategies. These include powerful techniques, which are not always included in yoga classes, including breathing exercises (pranayama), easy meditations, and hand gestures called mudras that empower one to self-regulate one's mood and develop increasing feelings of self-efficacy and control.
So they differ from what you might find in an ordinary yoga class in that they don't require the ability to practice yoga postures. Bu the fact that there is no mat involved doesn't mean these techniques are less effective. In fact, most of these techniques date back much further than many of the common yoga postures commonly practiced in yoga studios today.
ENS: In your book, you say that "therapeutic yoga approaches the emotions from the doorway of the body, or more precisely from the residue left in the body by past trauma or even the stress of everyday living. It meets the constrictions held in the body and helps the client release them often without words."
Has it been your experience that the body in some cases can offer a more effective avenue for releasing stress and long-held traumas?
AW: Absolutely. Often, when we have a history of trauma, it may have begun before we had the words to speak it. It may be pre-verbal, and talk therapy can't get to those pre-verbal places that we have constricted. Even when we've been traumatized later in our lives, we may think we're done with it, but the body remembers.
That is not just yoga talk. There's a large field of somatic psychotherapy founded on this understanding. A somatic psychotherapist will also tell you that the body holds trauma from the past, even when we no longer necessarily remember it ourselves.
ENS: Do you feel there is a growing acknowledgment in the field of psychotherapy of the importance of the body in releasing trauma and balancing mind and emotions?
AW: In my experience, yes. In the book, I quote Bessel Van der Kolk, director of the Trauma Ceter in Brookline, Mass., who has said that he will not work with a trauma survivor who is not practicing yoga. "If you really want to help a traumatized person," he notes, "you have work with core physiological states, and then the mind will start changing."
Even cognitive-based therapy (CBT) has a mindfulness component and a body component and scans involving sensing the body. And CBT is probably one of the most researched and evidence-based models of psychotherapy shown to be effective for trauma and other less healthy mind states as well. But many other forms of psychotherapy-dialectic behavioral therapy (DBT), and even EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a model for working with trauma) engages the body as well.
ENS: In LifeForce Yoga, you particularly emphasize yoga techniques like Pranayama breathing techniques, chanting, and Kriyas (targeted movements with specific actions). Breath and Kriyas are often used to move energy blocks in the body. Do you think that stagnant or blocked energy is a factor in depression?
AW: Most likely. If you've noticed people who are depressed or if you've been depressed in the past, the posture is usually slumped and the belly is kind of dormant. There's not much happening in the core of the body. So yoga practices targeting depression can help release blocks in those areas.
People who struggle with depression can use sound, or chanting, to energize and release blocks in the core of the body, which tends to get dormant and sluggish in people with depression. Also, Kapalabhati breath, which involves a vigorous pumping of the belly, is very useful for enlivening this area. What happens is that we're actually stimulating those areas and releasing blocks of stagnant energy.
To read more:

Monday, December 23, 2013

5 Ways to Help a Depressed Friend



Your friend has suddenly clammed up on you. You ordinarily speak, email or text each other every day, but when you called her three weeks ago after she was recently laid off from her job, she curtly said she was taking a nap and would call you back later. Your next phone message went straight into her voicemail.
Having a depressed friend can be scary and overwhelming, and this article can help you deal with it..

You emailed her several times and realize she hasn't been online or simply isn't answering messages. She has had bouts of depression in the past and you suspect she may be depressed again. What steps can someone take to "cheer up" a depressed friend?
Depression is one of the most common mental disorders, affecting some 1 out of 10 Americans over their lifetimes. With the economy tanking and unemployment soaring, many more people are experiencing stressors that exacerbate the risk for depression and other mood disorders.
Everyone has days when they feel blue, but when someone is clinically depressed, the individual is no longer able to function effectively for a period of more than two weeks at work, school or home. It is unrealistic to think that a depressed friend will be able to simply "snap out of it" on her own.
The signs of depression (e.g., depressed or low mood, loss of appetite, fatigue, physical complaints, irregular sleep, irritability, loss of interest in people and things that were once pleasurable, loss of hope, etc.) may be obvious to a close friend, but figuring out how to respond isn't as straightforward. Stigma and denial prevent many people with mental or emotional disorders from reaching out for help.
Here are some suggestions on how to help a depressed friend:
1) Encourage her to seek help
The most important thing you can do is to encourage your friend to be evaluated by a mental health professional. When people are depressed, they may feel like there's no hope and have little energy to get help on their own.
Be frank and let your friend know you think she is depressed. Offer to assist with the legwork of finding a practitioner covered by her insurer or checking out public mental health programs. Explain that depression is a treatable illness. If she is already being treated and she doesn't improve over 4-6 weeks, suggest that she contact her doctor, who might evaluate whether a change in medication or other treatment is warranted.
2) Be there
Try to stay in touch, even if your depressed friend doesn't initiate contact or is slower than usual in responding to you. Because people with depression often lack initiative, they end up being alone ruminating about their problems. Offer to go for a walk in the park or to a movie together.
3) Provide support
Offer to help your friend with concrete tasks she can't seem to accomplish on her own. You could bring a meal or some food to her house, help with child care, or offer to help with chores, like laundry.

To read more:

Loving Someone With Depression

Very useful article on how to deal with having a loved one with depression...

By Hope Racine
Originally posted on Literally, Darling.
I've never been depressed. I've had my share of my own crazy and sure, I have my bad times. I have those times where I start crying while brushing my teeth and I'm not sure why. We've all experienced this to an extent. You go through a patch where staying in bed all day isn't just the better option -- it's the only one. But as blue as things may look at that point, a lot of us are lucky enough to have the ability to say "I'm feeling depressed," as opposed to "I have depression."
There's a big difference between those statements, and the key word is feeling.
Like I said, I've never been depressed. But I know a lot about depression. Over the past few years, someone very close to me whom I love dearly became depressed. And I had no idea what I was getting into.
Let's call my friend Hubert. Why? Because Hubert is a funny name, and nothing about this situation is funny.
Hubert went through some life changes. Some things turned out less than desirable for him, but all in all, Hubert would agree that nothing terrible happened to him. This is a common misconception about depression -- you don't have to have a traumatic home life, a horrible experience or witness the death of a loved one to become depressed. Depression has no rhyme or reason. It just happens.
I didn't understand this at the time. I found myself wondering at times why Hubert was taking things so hard. He can get past this, I thought to myself, all he has to do is just try.
But he couldn't. Because despite the fact that Hubert's life mantra is "I can do anything if I try," he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't even bring himself to care. He couldn't even try to try.
You know those commercials for the antidepressant with the tagline, "depression hurts more than just you," or "depression hurts everyone?" It's true. Loving someone with depression is hard.
We're not inside their heads. We can't understand why they are doing the things they are doing. We can't understand why they won't listen to reason, and they often don't have the ability to articulate why.
It took a long time, but I finally figured some of it out. Strangely enough, a webcomic put a lot of things into perspective for me. It was hard, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but as hard as it is, your loved one needs you. And when you're through the thick of it, your acceptance and help through that time will mean more to them than you will ever understand. Here are some of the things I've discovered along the way.
1. Your loved one isn't just sad.
Depression isn't a state of being, it's an affliction. Like a cold or the flu, it can come out of nowhere and hit them. Or think of it another way: your friend is in an abusive relationship with depression. Depression has cut off their ability to have other friends. Depression has crippled their social life. Depression is constantly putting them through hell, making everything more stressful, making them doubt themselves, making everything difficult. Depression has beaten them -- to the point where they will have actual physical pain. Depression has taken control of their life, to the point where it's easier to just feel nothing.
2. They're not depressed because of you, so don't take it personally.
It's hard not to take things personally. It's even harder to not wonder if you did something to make your loved one depressed. When you're depressed, you feel this complete and utter inability to be yourself, and it makes it ten times harder when you're around loved ones; i.e., people who know the real "you." Being with strangers can sometimes be easier for them. They get to put on a show. They get to pretend that they aren't depressed for a short amount of time. It can really hurt you to see this, and you sometimes wonder if it's just you causing the depression. But it's not. If your loved one is acting depressed around you, its a good sign in a strange way. It means that they love and trust you enough to share this with you. Sometimes, they try to hide it -- sometimes, they'll push you away. The only thing to do is just be there.
3. You can't "fix" them.
I know you think that by being positive and following them around like their personal cheerleader, one day it might occur to them, "Yeah! life is great and things are awesome and I'm fixed!" But it won't. Endless supplies of positivity aren't helpful -- they actually do more harm than good. It's frustrating. It's reminding them that they aren't full of cheer. And most importantly, they aren't sad. I know it looks like they are, and sometimes they can feel incredibly down, but cheering up won't help. They're experiencing a complete lack of emotion, and you can't fix something that doesn't exist. All the funny animal gifs in the world aren't going to cure them. Just be there. Remind them that this is temporary. Don't tell them to keep trying, just remind them that there's a light out there. Listen and validate their feelings, but don't try to explain them or cheer the person up. Don't offer opinions or advice. You don't have to walk around like a complete sad sack, of course -- that won't help. Just be normal, but be supportive.
4. Any emotion is good.
Sometimes, when people start the long, long climb up out of depression, their emotions come back to them in weird ways. Some people get the crying, the breaking down and sobbing. Feel free to comfort them. Some people get the manic happiness that seems incredibly fake. Encourage this -- but be careful. It can switch quickly. But a lot of people get the anger. Anger, for some unknown reason, seems to be the easiest way to vent the months and months of non-feeling that your loved one has gone through. So be prepared. They will get angry at you. They will scream at the cat and curse-out their shoe. The strangest and sometimes smallest things will set them off. I know that this hurts more than anything, and it seems so backwards. But by getting angry, they finally have a way to vent their frustration. Encourage it, or at the very least, let them rage in peace.
Read more:

6 Truths About Depression and How to Overcome It

Some great tips on how to overcome depression. Great article...

October is National Depression Screening Month. One in 10 Americans struggles with depression. A common misconception about depression is that it is something people can just "snap out of." Unfortunately, for those people who experience major depression disorder, it's not that simple. While depression can be serious, it is far from hopeless. There are effective treatments and actions people can take to overcome this disorder. There are certain truths about depression that are important to understand, as we target this debilitating disorder that often spans generations.
1) Depression is a more than just a bad mood. As I've mentioned above, it's important for friends and relatives of those struggling to understand that people who suffer from depression can't just feel better. People experiencing a major depression really need professional treatment. Depression is a mind/body issue and should be treated with the same self-compassion and treatment-seeking with which we would treat any major illness. Different forms of therapy and/or medications work for different people. According to theAmerican Psychological Association (APA), psychotherapy can benefit depressed individuals by helping them uncover the life problems that contribute to their depression, identify the destructive thinking that makes them feel hopeless, explore the behaviors that exacerbate their depression and regain a sense of pleasure in their lives.
2) Depression is affecting younger people. In what's been referred to in the field of psychology as "the greening of depression," younger people are reporting increased levels of stress and depression. According to the Federal Center for Mental Health Services, "depression affects as many as one in every 33 children and one in eight adolescents." The APA has additionally reported that higher numbers of college students are seeking treatment for depression and anxiety, with the number of students on psychiatric medications increasing by 10 percent in 10 years.
As I highlighted in my recent blog "Depression in Mothers," babies born to women whostruggled with depression while pregnant have "higher levels of stress hormones ... as well as other neurological and behavioral differences." Thus, whether it's based on biological factors or new social and academic demands, the vulnerability among younger people makes it all the more essential that we target depression earlier and more effectively. Studieshave shown promising results to early intervention among school-age children who showcased symptoms of depression.
3) Mindfulness can help with recurrent depression. There are a lot of great treatments out there that have proven effective for dealing with depression. Research by psychologist Mark Williams, co-author of The Mindful Way Through Depression, has shown that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) can have a positive effect on preventing relapse in recovered depressed patients. His research indicates that if you teach people with recurrent depression mindfulness skills, such as meditation and breathing exercises, it reduces their chances of having another depressive episode.
Mindfulness practices don't change our feelings or thoughts, but they do change our relationship to our feelings and thoughts. This enables a person who has a tendency toward depression to not get swept up in the thoughts and feelings that contribute to his or her depression. Another way mindfulness skills can benefit people struggling with depression is by helping them to be better able to regulate and tolerate emotion.
4) Anger often underlies depression. Often, one strong emotion behind depression is anger. Anger can be a hard emotion to deal with, but it is actually a natural human reaction to frustration. Getting angry may seem like it would only make you feel worse, but when you don't deal with anger directly, you tend to turn it on yourself. It is important to allow yourself the freedom to fully feel your feelings, but at the same time, to control yourself from acting them out in any way that is harmful. You can recognize and accept your anger in a healthy way that releases the emotion without allowing it to fester or be turned into an attack on yourself.
5) Depression is fueled by an inner critic. We all have an inner critic, what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, refers to as your "critical inner voice." For people who are depressed, this critical inner voice can have a powerful and destructive influence on their state of mind. It may be feeding them a distorted commentary on their lives: You are too fat to leave the house. You are so stupid. No one will ever love you. You aren't capable of being happy. You will never succeed at anything. The critical inner voice may then persuade you to act in destructive ways: Just be by yourself; no one wants to see you. Have another piece of cake; it will make you feel better. You shouldn't even try for that job; you'll never get it. Finally, once you've listened to its directives, the critical inner voice will attack you for your actions: You are such a loser, staying home alone on a Saturday. You messed up your diet again. What is wrong with you? You'll never get a decent job. You're so lazy.
To combat depression means taking on this internal enemy. This may involve looking into your past to help determine where these critical thoughts came from. How do these thoughts affect the actions you take in your life? How can you challenge these "voices" on an action level?
Read more:

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Holiday Stress Can Amplify Mental Health and Substance Abuse Issues

Most people look at the holidays as a happy season, a season where you can catch up with loved ones and friends you haven't seen all year. However, this time of year can be the most stressful and dangerous for those who suffer from mental health and addiction issues.
Think about it. You may be worrying out about buying gifts for everyone on your list, trying to decide what to wear to that holiday office party or having your in-laws stay over your house for a week. Blended families have to deal with generations of biases and wounds. Kids who are suffering from drug abuse and other internal problems can use the holiday stress we all experience to intensify their own destructive behavior because with all the free time away from school the opportunities are endless for them to feed the beast. Drug abuse can seem like a logical escape from the drama for many teens. 

At Newport Academy, we see an uptick in clients starting in November. This is because many teens and young adults end their fall semesters and are home for winter break. This vacation away from school allows an individual suffering from substance abuse and mental illness to escalate their destructive behavior by overindulging in their hometown holiday parties and by spending more time with old friends with bad habits.
Parents who may not have taken notice of the red flags of mental health problems and addiction also pay more attention to their child because they are home more. They may notice that their son or daughter that's been away at college has become withdrawn or aggressive. Or, they may notice more overt signs such as drinking more than usual at family gatherings. Be on the look out for more isolation by a child as it could also be a sign that something is wrong.
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I encourage parents to always be engaged in their children's lives all year round. This doesn't necessarily mean knowing their email passwords or stalking their Facebook, although it is good to monitor their social network activity. It is as simple as being an open channel of communication for your child to reach out to for help and feel safe coming to with their problems.
The root of every addiction and mental health problem does not solely lie on the child. It is a problem that affects the entire family and as a consequence, all members should be part of the recovery process.
The holidays aren't just a time for parents to notice new behaviors in their children. It is also a very challenging time for those who are in recovery. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, nearly half of recovering addicts will relapse.
With an abundance of alcohol and friends around during festive activities, triggers are all around. Being in their old bedroom or neighborhood can cause a shift in the recovery process. Or, even the notion of the holidays can send a child into depression as it may force them to confront memories they haven't necessarily dealt with the rest of the year.
I urge families of teens and young adults facing mental health and addiction issues to remain vigilant around the holidays.
In many respects, it is the most joyous time of year and should remain that way for your family. Still, the holidays serve as a perfect opportunity for parents to spend more time with their children and address alarming behaviors you may have missed during the year. For recovering addicts, it should be a time for families to band together and learn to celebrate in different and new ways that support sobriety and build love and trust amongst its members.
I wish everyone a happy and healthy holiday season and to remember those who need a little more support this time of year more than ever.

The Holiday Counselor's Corner


This article can help you get throught the holidays a lot easier...


No New Year's resolutions -- just a new year with goals and aspirations (objectives).
How many years have you heard people say that their New Year's resolution is to do this or stop that or in kind have asked others what their New Year's resolutions are? Why does a date on a calendar have to force someone to change something in their life? Probably something dramatic like the usual chants of losing weight, stopping smoking, quit drinking, find a better job and on and on.
New Year's resolutions rarely work. The adrenaline rush from the moment of the commitment is short-lived. Solid attempts are made for a while, but usually something happens as life once again begins and the same obstacles are presented as were before the holidays.
So how can one make a comfortable, doable resolution? Reach for goals and objectives in a committed, honest manner through preparation and not expectation. You don't need to prove anything to anyone, and sometimes that's more pressure than we want to (or should) give credence to.
One way to start this process in a healthy way is to map out the following:
1) Where were you last year at this time?
Take some quiet time to jot down where you were with your emotions, job, finances, health, personal relationships, etc...
2) Where are you this year?
How did the year unfold for you? Did plans pan out or were you thrown a curveball or two? How did you handle that fork in the road that you weren't expecting? Were the goals (either expected or not) you had set for yourself met, and were they fulfilling?
3) Where would you like to see yourself next year at this time?
Make a DOABLE list that can be accomplished. Write down what you need to do (or not do) in order to see these objectives come to fruition. And what is your time frame? If we just bump along the bottom without a committed schedule, the goal/objective can too easily be lost or forgotten.
If you are dedicated to reaching your personal plateau then make a schedule with specific time frames and days that you will spend contributing to your project. If you want to write a book, carve out x amount of hours, x amount of days to work on your book. Even if you do nothing but research or sit in front of a blank page, you have done what you have planned on doing and I promise will feel accomplished having suited up and showed up.
The key to this exercise is to be honest, do it for yourself and make your objective doable. Saying that you are going to win the lottery is fun and wishful, but frankly a waste of mind power that can be used for something more productive.
Your first holiday alone without the alcoholic/addict
We have read article after article about how difficult and stressful the holidays can be. But being alone on the holidays can be painful and lonely. There are no two ways of getting around it. Maybe this is your first holiday without the alcoholic/addict in your life; maybe somewhere about five months ago you finally realized that you could not continue this life and lifestyle with the alcoholic/addict in your life.
You knew it was the healthy thing to do, even a relief by this break-up; yet being alone on a Saturday night in June is not quite as difficult as alone for the holiday season. Even being surrounded by friends and family can still make one feel like they are alone, and if you are not fortunate to have a strong support group, maybe you are the only one in the canoe, paddling on your own on a lonely holiday stream. Yikes and ouch.
When I experienced one relapse too many from my loved one, I was sad and angry, scared and choked with fear about every aspect of my future. I couldn't help but imagine every person in the world having a wonderful holiday season but me. Of course that's absurd, but our thoughts can get pretty vivid when we have our chin on our buttons.
Is there a happy way to cope with our holiday blues? Honestly, not really. We find ourselves caught up in the "Auld Lang Syne," let bygones be bygones and it's doubly difficult to stay the course that you put into healthy action some time ago. Reliving the past and questioning whether you did the right thing or not to extricate the toxic relationship out of your life is destructive with a zero positive outcome. My father used to say "Don't look back -- you will die of a broken heart."
But these feelings and emotions are real and they hurt; don't deny them and you might need to meet them head on. Sometimes our only option is just slog through it and know that change is a constant and that things will change, hopefully for the more fulfilling and positive.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

What Your Emotional Health Has in Common With Cinderella


This article helps you deal better with your mental health...

How much do you care about your emotional health, your life satisfaction, and your happiness? You might think you care about these things, that they are important to you, and that you pay attention to them -- but your actions probably say otherwise.
Allow me to prove it to you.
Let's compare your emotional health (your mind and emotions) to its two 'sisters,' your physical health (your body) and your dental health (your teeth). Consider the following questions:
1. When you injure yourself physically, do you typically take action? For example, if you cut yourself, do you stop the bleeding, apply antibacterial ointment and use a bandage, or do you walk around bleeding with an exposed wound? Do you take daily actions to monitor and protect your physical health? Do you watch the weather to dress appropriately, do you take vitamins, do you make at least some effort to eat healthily, do you go to the gym or do some form of physical exercise, do you get annual checkups?
2. When you have tooth pain, when hot or cold fluids make you wince, do you see the dentist or do you walk around for weeks ignoring the pain? Do you brush your teeth once, twice or three times a day? Do you floss? Have you had braces to make your teeth straighter and healthier? Do you visit the dentist for checkups and X-rays to make sure your teeth are strong and healthy?
Chances are you do many if not all of these things because your physical health and your teeth are important to you, you care about them, and you want them to thrive, be healthy, and serve you for many years to come.
But now let's look at your actions concerning your emotional health.
3. When you sustain an emotional injury like a severe rejection or a big failure, if you're burdened by unresolved guilt or feel trapped by loneliness, when your mind is hijacked by brooding and worrying or when your self-esteem is low -- do you "treat" these emotional wounds in any way? Do you take steps to make sure they don't "fester" and get worse? Do you take any regular action to monitor and protect your emotional health? What is the emotional or psychological equivalent of brushing and flossing you practice on a daily basis?
Chances are you do few or none of these things.

You can invite Cinderella to the ball...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

8 Tips for Surviving Depression and Anxiety During the Holidays

The holidays can be very stressful...read these tips to help you get through them.



The Huffington Post  |  By 
Ah, the holidays! Most people feel a sense of anticipation and joy as we approach the holidays. Time for family gatherings and other fun activities. However, a considerable number of people, including those people in therapy, can feel depressed, frustrated, and anxious thinking about the holidays. These could be people without a family or without a significant network of friends. Or they can be people who have had mixed or negative experiences with friends and family in holidays past. What can they do to make the holidays more enjoyable?
"I don't think I can stand another holiday," said John*, my patient, a 54-year-old lawyer who lives in the city. He's never been married, although he's had a few short-term relationships. His parents died years ago, and he never was that close with them. He doesn't have any siblings. His few friends all have commitments for the holidays. He has had depression since his mid-30s and has been off and on anti-depressants with good results. Of course, he has the week of Christmas off, but no idea what to do with himself. Last year he was so depressed in November and December that he considered committing suicide. A close friend of his did commit suicide 10 years ago around the holidays.
Suicidal thoughts and behaviors are commonly reported in the general population, especially during the holidays. People who may attempt suicide complain of hopelessness, rage, and the need to seek revenge. They are more impulsive than the average person. Other behaviors that may be associated with potential suicide include people making arrangements for someone else to care for their dependents, including children, pets, or elders.

John felt a lot of anger and he told me he was starting to drive recklessly. He said he felt trapped with no way out. He was increasing his alcohol use, but he didn't return to his marijuana smoking, which he'd done in his younger days. Other people who have family and friends might withdraw from them and isolate themselves. John couldn't isolate himself any further, but he said he felt no sense of purpose in life.
I suggested the following ways for him to get through the holidays. Even if you or your loved ones aren't exhibiting the type of intense behavior that John is, the following ideas can help lift depression and anxiety:
• Try to schedule a theater or dance performance either the night before or the day of the holiday. In major cities across the United States, many shows are on during Thanksgiving and Christmas. If there is no live theater, go to a movie theater and watch a film. You can do this alone or extend an invitation to a neighbor or business colleague who may be spending the holidays alone.
• Go on a trip out of town. There are many cruises or day trips during this season. John expressed an interest in staying in a country inn upstate where he had Thanksgiving dinner once before. I encouraged this because it linked an image of the holidays with a past memorable experience and could boost the spirits quickly.
• Join a community group such as the YMCA, or take a photography or art class that has planned activities on or just before the holidays. John could take a class photographing trees and turning those pictures into holiday cards or presents.
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